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But if you’re dating her, get her a car because you may get lucky,” Alley quipped, “That’s the only way you’re getting lucky! “I call my Jenny Craig consultant and I go, ‘Oh, look, I’m going to this thing and they’re gonna have eight million sugar cookies with frosting on them,' and she’ll go, 'Well, why don’t you have one?' and I go, 'I’m afraid I’ll eat too many,' and she goes, 'You won’t eat too many — have just one.’” Though she is resisting sweets, she says the diet is “pretty easy to maintain.” The “Scream Queens” actress did have a diet dilemma while recently shooting the Fox series, admitting, “I had discovered triple-crème brie cheese, and I don’t even like brie! ” She then asked AJ, “Have you ever had triple crème cheese? Anyway, I’m telling you, it’s the best thing you’ve ever tasted in your life!

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” Another best thing in her life is her new grandson, Waylon.

The Onion Weather Center focuses on the Midwest, where a storm system should recede into the distance like any hope of a stable economic future; a tornado bears down on a podunk, backwater hick town; and field reporter Matt Jennings is live from God knows where.

SALISBURY, MD—Repeating identical comments he had made in June, July, August, September, and twice in November, increasingly nervous local man Aaron Howe responded to Donald Trump’s call to ban Muslims from entering the U. Monday by once again stating this would be the end of the Republican frontrunner’s campaign, sources confirmed.

BARAMCHA, AFGHANISTAN—Shaking his head at all the new recruitment and indoctrination methods used by his younger counterparts nowadays, al-Qaeda member Khalid Al-Muthanna, 42, wistfully recalled to reporters Monday a time when radicalization was performed face-to-face rather than over the internet.

Plot/theme note: Sage's plan to terminate her pregnancy is a choice not all viewers will agree with.

Last modified 16-May-2015 22:09