Application for dating my daughter joke

) _______________________________________________________________ Mother's Signature & Father's Signature _______________________________________________________________ Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual.

Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car-there is no need for you to come inside.

LONGSTREET FARM - The simpler way of seeing things is often the most likely to stick, so perhaps there are some simple truths about ourselves that I can impress upon my kids.

___________________________________________ Signature (that means sign your name) Thank you for your interest. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases (you might watch your back).

__________ If NO, explain________________________________________________________ Number of years married________ If less than your age, Explain________ ________________________________________________________________ Do you own a van? Leaving premises keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised. _______________________ Condoms come in packages of A: 3 B: 6 C: 9 D: 12 E: ALL OF THE ABOVE (circle one) I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE AND RED HOT POKERS.

Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating.

Last modified 27-Nov-2015 06:38