Holidays, especially, are giving you a glimpse into how your partner has been taught and trained. Sit up and take notes, because believe me, you’ll want to feel prepared for the test that comes later.
I first asked this question in 11 Questions Every Twentysomething Should Ask, and I think it boils down to this: Is their love based on you or is their love based on them?
But when someone loves from their strengths, they know who they are and are drawing from a deep, full well to give to you without demanding a drink in return.
Too many marriages start (and end) with vague and un-identified core values.
Is your partner trying to force you to become like them?
But just because you want to pretend your monsters don’t exist doesn’t mean they’re just going to magically go away. As I wrote in my book 101 Secrets for your Twenties,"Newly married and living in a small apartment is no place to store a luggage set full of your baggage.
And marriage has the amazing ability to take all that you hoped would remain hidden and put it on stage for a nationally televised interview that your in-laws will be watching. Begin to ditch those bags now." Marriage is as everyday as it gets.
The problem is most of us have never articulated what those values really are.